The Renaming of Abraham 5 No longer will you be called Abram, but your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations. 6 I will make you exceedingly fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will descend from you. 7 I will establish My covenant as an everlasting covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you. I will make you pee. Your bladder is a person as well find out how much your bladder Is filled up with pee and how long you can hold it for and weather or not you should go or not.
- Will Make You Cry
- Will Make You Mine
- Will Make Your Enemies Your Footstool
- Will Make You Laugh
- Will Make You Nut
- Will Make You A Better Person
- Will Make You Stronger
It’s understandable for leaders to get caught up in fear, doubt, and criticism when facing critical business decisions that will have a major impact on lives and livelihoods. But what’s needed in times of uncertainty and disruption is mental clarity, emotional balance, fortitude, and vision. To move from self-doubt and paralysis to clarity and action, you need an often-misunderstood skill: self-compassion. Based on our experience training tens of thousands of leaders on the role of self-compassion in emotional intelligence and effective leadership, we’d like to share some key tips and techniques for cultivating this critical skill.
First, it’s useful to accurately understand self-compassion. Put simply, it means taking a perspective toward yourself as you would with a friend or colleague who is facing a setback or challenge. It’s skill that is simple, but it’s surprisingly difficult for many of us. According to Kristen Neff, one of the leading researchers on the subject, there are three core elements to self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Many mistakenly avoid self-compassion, believing that it means being easy on yourself and will lead to being complacent. But self-compassion in fact is the foundation for resilience and helps you develop the courage to face hard facts. In taking a constructive — rather than critical or harsh — attitude toward your efforts as a leader, you build your capacity to navigate challenges and unpredictability.
Self-Compassion Makes You a Better Leader
The amount of research on self-compassion has grown significantly over the past fifteen years, and studies show that the benefits align with several important leadership skills.
Emotional Intelligence: Studies indicate that people who exercise self-compassion have higher levels of emotional intelligence, are better able to maintain calm when flustered, and tend to experience more happiness and optimism.
Resilience: Kristin Neff’s research and that of others shows that self-compassionate people have standards as high as people who lack self-compassion, but that those with high self-compassion are less likely to be unduly and unproductively hard on themselves if they didn’t meet their own standards. Self-compassion supports you as you navigate setbacks, regain clarity, and move forward productively.
Growth Mindset: Studies from Neff and colleagues indicate that highly self-compassionate people are more oriented toward personal growth. Rather than avoid challenges, they are more likely to formulate specific plans to reach their goals.
Integrity: Research shows a strong link between self-compassion and conscientiousness and accountability, suggesting that self-compassion enables leaders to act responsibly and morally, even when undertaking difficult decisions.
Compassion Toward Others: As the UC-Berkeley professor of psychology Serena Chen writes, “Self-compassion and compassion for others are linked… Being kind and nonjudgmental toward the self is good practice for treating others compassionately.” Leaders who are able to model compassion for themselves and others build trust and psychological safety that leads to higher engagement and sustainable high performance in teams and organizations.
How to Build Your Capacity for Self-Compassion
Embracing the benefits of self-compassion is the first step. Then the question is how to foster it. Here is a set of core practices to get you started.
Practice in the Moment
The easiest place to start is with a five- to 20-second exercise that can be integrated into your day: when starting a meeting, as you sit down at your desk or kitchen table, or even while pausing between responding to emails.
To practice self-compassion during these moments, take three deep breaths and with each breath, think three subsequent thoughts, each connected to one of the core elements of self-compassion:
- Mindfulness: “This is hard right now” or “I’m feeling tense.” By being aware of, but not overwhelmed by, your own emotions you’re able to make decisions with more clarity and wisdom.
- Common humanity: “I’m not alone; other leaders are facing similar challenges.” Recognizing that you’re not alone supports your well-being and your sense of connection with others, helping you consider the people potentially impacted by your actions.
- Self-kindness: “May I be kind to myself as I face this challenge” or “What would be kind right now?” Treating yourself well is essential for your own motivation and your capacity to help others.
This short practice can be done quickly and unobtrusively, without anyone else even knowing.
Rewire Your Brain
In addition to short, in-the-moment practices, we recommend building your capacity with slightly longer practices as well. Spending somewhere between five and 10 minutes each day meditating on self-compassion will make a big difference. As we know from research on neuroplasticity, what we think and pay attention to changes the structures and functions of our brain to make these habits easier. By dedicating time regularly to build the capacity for self-compassion, we’re training the brain to incline towards self-kindness, making it an easier and more habitual response when things are tough.
You can make a guided meditation (you might try this nine-minute one) part of your morning routine or integrate it into a lunch break or the end of your work day. If you notice there are moments throughout the day when you’re beating yourself up, you can try a shorter meditation as well (here’s an example of a five-minute practice).
Shift Your Mindset
You can shift your mindset about a setback or challenge and orient it toward self-compassion through writing. Students in a comparison study who actively exercised self-compassion through writing exercises reported a greater motivation to change, a greater desire to address weaknesses, and exhibited higher effort to improve overall. These results were significantly better compared to both a standard control group and a group that did a similar writing exercise focused on self-esteem (rather than self-compassion).
Try out this writing exercise to similarly shift your mindset. Draft an encouraging letter to yourself from your inner compassionate voice, answering the following questions: What would your inner mentor say about the challenges you’re facing? What might they suggest and how would they encourage you? What would you tell a friend who is struggling with a similar situation?
We recommend that you start writing and keep your pen (or typing fingers) moving for about four to five minutes. Once you’ve written out your letter, take a moment to read over it and notice if you feel a greater sense of openness toward your challenges. You might also revisit it a few days or weeks in the future, and can even set up an email with delayed send to bring your encouraging words back when you might need them in the future.
As we face a world that’s more uncertain than ever, we need leaders who look for common humanity with their employees, customers, and stakeholders. We need leaders who connect and uplift others, and this starts by exercising kindness towards yourself.
(23) If a man love me, he will keep my words.--Our Lord repeats the condition necessary on the part of man in order that the manifestation of God to him may be possible. This is an answer to the question of Judas, the world in its unbelief and rejection of Christ's words, and without the spirit of love, could not receive this manifestation.We will come unto him, and make our abode with him.--For the plural, comp. Note on John 10:30. For the word 'abode,' comp. Note on John 14:2. The thought of God as dwelling in the sanctuary and among the people was familiar to the disciples from the Old Testament Scriptures (see, e.g.,Exodus 25:8; Exodus 29:45; Leviticus 26:11-12; Ezekiel 37:26), and the thought of the spiritual temple in the heart of man was not unknown to contemporary writers. Philo has a remarkable parallel in his treatise, De Cherubim, p. 124, 'Since therefore He (God) thus invisibly enters into the region of the soul, let us prepare that place, in the best way the case admits of, to be an abode worthy of God; for if we do not, He, without our being aware of it, will quit us and migrate to some other habitation which shall appear to Him to be more excellently provided' (Bohn's ed., vol. i., p. 199. See the whole of chap. 29). Sch?ttgen, in his note, quotes from a Rabbinical writer who says, 'Blessed is the man who strives daily to make himself approved unto God, and prepares himself to receive the divine guest.' (Comp. 1Corinthians 3:16; 1Corinthians 6:19; and Revelation 3:20.)
Verse 23. - Jesus answered and said to him, If a man, let him be whosoever he may, love me - there is the germ and root of all - he will keep my Word (λόγον). In Ver. 21 we see the complementary statement, 'He that has and keeps my commandments loves me;' here, 'He that loves me keeps my Word.' In Ver. 21 obedience proves inward love, and may indicate to the world the fact of the Father's love and my own response. Here our Lord is laying down the principle of relation - the law of close intimacy, the conditions of higher knowledge. The keeping of the Word is a certain consequence of holy love. And my Father will love him. So far Christ has only reiterated the great statement of Ver. 21, but instead of saying, 'I will love him, and manifest myself,' he added, We will come - the Father and I - to him, and take up our abode, make for ourselves a resting-place in his dwelling (πἀρ αὐτῳ); cf. the analogous and wonderful parallel in Revelation 3:20. There is a clear utterance of Divine self-consciousness. It is worthy of note that such an expression as this sounds a profounder depth of that consciousness than any phrase (λόγος) already delivered. Apart from the stupendous corroborative facts elsewhere on record, this seems, to mere human experience, either awfully true or infinitely blasphemous. The Father add g will come together in the power of the Spirit, and we will dwell within the loving and obedient soul. This phrase suggests the mystical union of the Divine Personality with that of those who have entered into spiritual relation with Christ through love and obedience.Parallel Commentaries ...
Jesus
Ἰησοῦς(Iēsous)
Noun - Nominative Masculine Singular
Strong's Greek 2424: Of Hebrew origin; Jesus, the name of our Lord and two other Israelites.
replied,
Ἀπεκρίθη(Apekrithē)
Verb - Aorist Indicative Passive - 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 611: From apo and krino; to conclude for oneself, i.e. to respond; by Hebraism to begin to speak.
“If
Ἐάν(Ean)
Conjunction
Strong's Greek 1437: If. From ei and an; a conditional particle; in case that, provided, etc.
anyone
τις(tis)
Interrogative / Indefinite Pronoun - Nominative Masculine Singular
Strong's Greek 5100: Any one, some one, a certain one or thing. An enclitic indefinite pronoun; some or any person or object.
loves
ἀγαπᾷ(agapa)
Verb - Present Subjunctive Active - 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 25: To love, wish well to, take pleasure in, long for; denotes the love of reason, esteem. Perhaps from agan; to love.
Me,
Will Make You Cry
με(me)Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Accusative 1st Person Singular
Strong's Greek 1473: I, the first-person pronoun. A primary pronoun of the first person I.
he will keep
τηρήσει(tērēsei)
Verb - Future Indicative Active - 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 5083: From teros; to guard, i.e. To note; by implication, to detain; by extension, to withhold; by extension, to withhold.
My
μου(mou)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Genitive 1st Person Singular
Strong's Greek 1473: I, the first-person pronoun. A primary pronoun of the first person I.
word.
λόγον(logon)
Noun - Accusative Masculine Singular
Strong's Greek 3056: From lego; something said; by implication, a topic, also reasoning or motive; by extension, a computation; specially, the Divine Expression.
My
μου(mou)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Genitive 1st Person Singular
Strong's Greek 1473: I, the first-person pronoun. A primary pronoun of the first person I.
Father
Πατήρ(Patēr)
Noun - Nominative Masculine Singular
Strong's Greek 3962: Father, (Heavenly) Father, ancestor, elder, senior. Apparently a primary word; a 'father'.
Will Make You Mine
will loveἀγαπήσει(agapēsei)
Verb - Future Indicative Active - 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 25: To love, wish well to, take pleasure in, long for; denotes the love of reason, esteem. Perhaps from agan; to love.
him,
αὐτόν(auton)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Accusative Masculine 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 846: He, she, it, they, them, same. From the particle au; the reflexive pronoun self, used of the third person, and of the other persons.
and
καὶ(kai)
Conjunction
Strong's Greek 2532: And, even, also, namely.
we will come
ἐλευσόμεθα(eleusometha)
Verb - Future Indicative Middle - 1st Person Plural
Strong's Greek 2064: To come, go.
to
πρὸς(pros)
Preposition
Strong's Greek 4314: To, towards, with. A strengthened form of pro; a preposition of direction; forward to, i.e. Toward.
him
αὐτὸν(auton)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Accusative Masculine 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 846: He, she, it, they, them, same. From the particle au; the reflexive pronoun self, used of the third person, and of the other persons.
and
καὶ(kai)
Will Make Your Enemies Your Footstool
Conjunction
Strong's Greek 2532: And, even, also, namely.
make
ποιησόμεθα(poiēsometha)
Verb - Future Indicative Middle - 1st Person Plural
Strong's Greek 4160: (a) I make, manufacture, construct, (b) I do, act, cause. Apparently a prolonged form of an obsolete primary; to make or do.
Our home
μονὴν(monēn)
Noun - Accusative Feminine Singular
Strong's Greek 3438: Lodging, dwelling-place, room, abode, mansion. From meno; a staying, i.e. Residence.
with
Will Make You Laugh
παρ’(par’)
Preposition
Strong's Greek 3844: Gen: from; dat: beside, in the presence of; acc: alongside of.
him.
αὐτῷ(autō)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Dative Masculine 3rd Person Singular
Will Make You Nut
Strong's Greek 846: He, she, it, they, them, same. From the particle au; the reflexive pronoun self, used of the third person, and of the other persons.Will Make You A Better Person
John 14:23 NLTJohn 14:23 ESV
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Will Make You Stronger
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NT Gospels: John 14:23 Jesus answered him If a man loves (Jhn Jo Jn)